Cobras & Crowns
by BellatrixLestrangey
Summary: Regina and the Queen have been split for too long. Regina is becoming a classic, cookie baking, cheer spreading good guy. The Queen decides that she must merge them back together and stop this. Unfortunately she is a snake.
1. Limp Noodle

"Regina, I have something you need to see." David announced.

"David, I just got home from an alternate universe, can't this wait?" Regina frowned.

David set a fair-sized cage upon the counter. "You bought me a pet snake?" Regina asked, knitting her brows quizzically. "A venomous one too…"

"It's not just any poisonous snake." David replied. "This one prefers to poison it's victims with apples instead of fangs."

Regina stared blankly for a few moments and then her eyes went wide, "she got herself turned into a serpent!?" She huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I leave for a few days and she gets herself turned into a snake."

"Actually she got turned into a snake within the first few hours." David pointed out.

"Well that just makes this situation so much better." Slowly Regina made her way over to the cage gazing at the sleek black cobra with the gaudy gold cuff. "What am I supposed to do with her?" She briefly reached a sympathetic hand out to her former self. At an irritable hissing she quickly retracted it.

"I don't know." David answered. "Keep her warm and well fed?"

"I can't even hover my hand near her, much less drop food in her cage! What do I even feed her?" Regina grumbled.

"What do you normally eat?" David asked.

"Great idea I'll give the snake a whole plate of spaghetti." Regina bit out sarcastically.

"Sounds good to me, put the noodle with more noodles." David shrugged.

Regina rolled her eyes. "She can't have people food, she's a snake." She paused. "But I don't want to feed myself mice." The thought alone had her lip curling back in disgust.

"Then feed her grapes or something."

Regina looked towards the fridge, it was after all, the most rational idea proposed that night. As it was, she could always just toss the grapes through the bars and not have to worry about getting bitten. She took the cage in her hand, "thank you David, I'll figure out something."

She set the snake cage upon her nightstand and shivered, deciding that it was time to turn the heater on. She peered at the cobra and wondered if it was cold. Regina tapped her chin…well she had nothing better to do.

.oOo.

The Queen watched as Regina disappeared around the corner. It was now or never, her chance to make a grand escape. Twisting her head to the side she made a rather successful attempt to fit through the bars. But at the clank of gold on metal, her luck ran out. She tried again and once more, but it was no use for the cuff around her neck had her trapped.

She hissed to herself, not that she could do much else anyhow. Gold would pay for this. Out of spite the serpentine queen gave one last furious attempt to squeeze through the bars. What happened next seemed to go in slow motion; the force of her body crashing against the wall of the cage sent it flying off of the table. She caught things only in snippets and frames; a brief flash of Regina's favorite lamp, the sound of Henry playing Enya's Only Time— _who can say where the road goes, where the day flows_ —coupled with the patter of many bouncing grapes, and the splash of water. She tried to take one last bite of one of the grapes but it tossed itself just out of her reach. Finally the cage fell onto the floor with a considerably loud crash. The sound of her tragic fall was drowned out by another song from Henry's room, "mmm watchya say?"

He was singing along.

She felt deep within her tiny, black heart a pang of betrayal.

The helpless snake slithered around trying to regain her composure. Again, she hissed, realizing that she would now have to deal with the discomforts of the textured walls of the cage rather than the smooth, semi-comfortable floor of it. _No matter_ , she thought, reassuring herself that someone would soon be along to place the cage back atop the nightstand.

As fate would have it, apparently the crash was not loud enough, for her heroic counterpart did not come to save the day. She would spend the next four hours on the ground vexing Gold and ruing his exitance. As well as the existence of that miscreant who gave her scales in the first place.

.oOo.

"Seriously?" Regina muttered. "How is it that you can make things difficult for me even as a snake." She stooped down and picked up the snake cage—a minor inconvenient. "Here I am, nice enough to knit you this nice cozy sweater, and you decide to spill yourself and some grapes all over my perfectly clean carpet."

Regina picked each grape up, one by one. The snake perked up when she grabbed one particular grape and then let itself fall dramatically to the floor when it saw Regina turn away from it and drop all of the grapes—including thee one true grape—into the garbage.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Regina slapped her hands against her legs. She opened the cage and reached for the snake, she hesitated, expecting it to lash out and bite. Instead she found herself holding a limp noodle. "Quit being so dramatic."

Out of spite or actual dismay, the snake queen let her head droop lower and limper.

"Don't worry I made something that will cheer you up." Regina stated as she dressed the former queen in her handmade snake sweater. Regina smiled, pleased with her work. It was perfect with its black feathery hem and shiny black yarn. She even added a few little jewels to make her little nope rope feel more royal.

Still the queen did not perk up. "Okay, well I also made you this." With a smug smile Regina fitted a tiny golden paper crown onto the cobra's majestic head. "See, it even matches your collar. Henry helped color it."

.oOo.

The last thing that the queen wanted was a crown that matched the contraption keeping her from freeing herself. She was frankly quite offended that her other half would even think that she'd want something like that. What kind of grown woman makes tiny paper crowns anyhow? A childish one, she answered herself.

And then it set in.

They needed each other.

Regina needed her to keep her from becoming way too excited to see dwarfs and to keep her from calling the Charmings old at inappropriate times. And she needed Regina to help her keep it in her pants. Upon putting some thought into it, the queen had to admit that Aladdin wasn't her best catch. No wonder Regina had thought she had too much to drink that night.

Yes indeed, the two needed each other. And she had to find a way to reunite them before Regina could do something too embarrassing, such as dancing through a field of daises with Blue and her flock of fairies. At least if that happened, Swan could no longer judge her.

The queen smiled, as much as a snake could smile anyhow. She had the perfect plan to reunite them. It was a flawless plan really, and it would absolutely work. She'd be able to stop this madness before it had a chance to get really out of hand.

If only she wasn't a snake.

From down the hall she caught a waft of sugar cookies. The queen cringed realizing just how critical the situation truly was. She didn't have much time. They had been separated for too long.

 _It_ was happening.

If she didn't stop her other half soon, the entire town would be filled with rainbows, glitter, unicorn stickers, and joy.

The cobra shuddered. But how could she do anything in this smol snake body?


	2. Sleep Snake

**Thanks everyone for reading this one. And for all of your feed back. I hope you all enjoy this chapter just as much as the last. I'm certainly going to try to update as often as I can.**

 **Guest 1: I'm surprised someone else didn't make one before me lol.**

 **Guest 2: Yeah, poor snake queen is having a rough life right now.**

 **Wingdings, BlackdrsFlower, & LastVerse: Thanks, I'm glad you guys got a good laugh. :D**

 **ConfusedColombia: I had a lot of fun writing it and picturing a snake falling dramatically in slow-mo. It's great to hear that you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

 **Saskwatche: Magical madness is the best kind of madness. xP And there will be more of it. Loads more. I plan on updating as regularly as I can with school and work.**

 **Bloemetje: Trust me there is going to be more cute to come. ^_^**

 **HeatherSS1: I was actually kind of hoping for the same thing. I guess we got a little bit of that when she dashed out yelling, "hey dwarfs!" That was one of my favorite parts of the episode.**

* * *

In the past hour the queen had removed that vial paper crown from her head at least eight times, only to have Regina place it right back on. Each time she would say something along the lines of, "oh, your crown fell off again." And each time the queen would say, "no, I took it off, it is hideous." Naturally all the other woman heard was hissing. This time Regina got creative and fastened it on with a quick spell, leaving the queen to flick her tongue in discontent.

And that sweater. She could do very little about it in the first place. This whole no arms thing was really becoming a burden.

Though Regina had no problem taking her out of that blasted cage—due in part to the astounding realization that she could heal cobra venom with a simple wave of her hand—still refused to leave her out at night. So she would have to make her grand escape at a different hour.

The queen watched the door of her cage swing open once again. Hopefully this time the hand that opened it would remove that ridiculous sweater. Her glamorous sleek black scales were the only good things about this new form.

Regina lifted the cobra into her arms. "You're going to stay with Henry today."

The queen coiled around her arm. "I wouldn't recommend biting him either." She continued talking, likely making some kind of threat as to what would happen if she did bite Henry. Hopefully it was some kind of threat that Regina had made, after all it would prove that there was some semblance of evil left in her. Either way around the queen wasn't listening, she was too delighted at the opportunity to make trouble.

And a shot at freedom.

Regina set the cobra onto the carpet and let it slither around for a bit. In only three days the queen had managed somehow to earn her counterpart's trust. At least enough to be allowed to slither around the living room. But heaven forbid she put even an inch of her tail across the border between the living room and the kitchen. Her last attempt at this ended with her back inside the cage. All she wanted was at least a tiny sip of an appletini. Or some grapes. But mostly the appletini.

"Where are you going mom?" Henry called, watching the snake circle his mother's feet.

"Oh, I was going to go with Mary to the Storybrooke retirement home. My snake sweater looked so wonderful I thought I'd help her make some mittens. Granny could use a new pair."

At this the formerly delighted snake went abruptly rigid. _Knitting. Mittens? For old people!?_ Not if she could help it.

But before she could carry out that thought Henry loudly declared, "I think there's something wrong with the danger noodle."

Regina shrugged, "there's always something wrong with the noodle." She pulled on a pair of gloves. "Just ignore it and it'll get over whatever it is." And just faintly the queen heard Regina mutter, "evil queen, more like drama queen," before slipping out the door.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Henry asked the snake. In response, she slithered towards the door. Henry peered outside at a snow claimed landscape. "No way, it's too cold for a walk, I don't think your sweater will protect you from that. Ya know what I do when it's too cold outside." Not yet trusting the snake with his xbox, he pulled out his old PS2 controllers. After plopping a game into the disk compartment, he lifted the queen and set her onto a controller. "So this is a superhero game, just press 'X' to pick your character."

Using her tiny snake tail she poked at the 'X', with no way to toggle the left and right sticks she would be stuck playing as Superman. During this hour of game play the queen came to the realization that Henry was in fact a little shit. While her character was stuck standing in one place Henry's would swoop in and land a ton of combos and then fall back leaving Superman to swat at the air. As if this wasn't enough Henry would laugh and say, "man you really suck at this."

Leaving a very bitter cobra queen to inwardly yell, "because I am a snake!"

And the boy continued to taunt her; he'd move his character in just close enough to land a hit. But right when he noticed her going for the 'O' button he'd dash out of Superman's reach. And for that she had grown to resent The Flash. Again, Henry brought Flash in closer to Superman. In a moment of pure rage, the evil queen had mastered the art of being a sore loser. She coiled around the controller and with all her might tossed it into the air with her tail. Henry cried out at the possible destruction of his controller. But her joy was short lived, for she realized his cry was not for his controller, but for the queen herself. With that realization, she found herself trapped under the controller hissing and thrashing wildly.

"You need to chill." Henry rolled his eyes. He removed the controller and set her back atop it.

With a bitter hiss she stared back up at the screen. Naturally The Flash was still standing in reach of Superman. Quickly she pressed the 'O'.

"Shit!" Henry yelled and drew The Flash back.

The queen rocked smugly from side to side. But Henry would have none of this, with the press of a button his character activated 'heal', undoing all of the damage she had done. All 3 of those hard earned taken hit points. And once again the queen spitefully whacked the controller. This time her tail landed against the right stick, and Superman inched forward.

"Oh crap." Henry muttered, knowing all too well that his snake mother had figured out how to use her tail to move her character.

She got a few good hits in before the shock wore off and he noticed just how long it really took her to go from moving the stick to hitting the buttons.

And once again she got her ass kicked.

She came to conclude that it was a dumb game anyhow.

Finally, Henry had, had enough, he got up and moved towards the kitchen. Now was her chance. With no hesitation, she made a dash for the door. She made it halfway across the room before the boy re-entered the living room. "Almost forgot, mom said I'm not supposed to leave you alone." He scooped the snake up, ignoring her flailing.

He set the snake down upon the kitchen counter and turned to get some milk.

.oOo.

"David, I think my snake is an alcoholic." Regina confessed into the phone.

"Are you an alcoholic?" David asked.

"No."

"Were you ever an alcoholic?" He questioned.

"No David. Because I, unlike some versions of me, know how to control my impulses." The annoyance in her voice grew with every word.

"Okay, well what makes you so sure that she's an alcoholic?"

Regina looked over her shoulder. Curled up inside an empty appletini bottle, was a very satisfied and very sleepy Cobra. Its head swayed dizzily from left to right a few times before it finally passed out. "I swear he left her alone on the counter for about two minutes. Dammit, David! What if she gets alcohol poisoning or something? I need my liver David!"

"Tell that to your drunk cobra."

"Mom am I in trouble?"

Regina held her hand over the receiver, "no Henry, of course not." She paused, "I'd just like to know how the snake got into the bottle.

"Emma left it open the last time she was here." Henry replied.

"Anyways David…"

.oOo.

Henry took the bottle in his left hand and dumped the snake into his right. He gave its head a soft stroke. Other than an occasional flick of its tongue the royal cobra did not stir. Carefully he slipped her back into her cage.

Regina stooped down next to him. "I made these for her."

Henry nodded and took the snake back out of the cage so that Regina could spread out a little blanket and a fortress of pillows. Once her new bed was constructed he placed her back inside. Regina pulled out yet another blanket and tucked her in. "We're not gonna get a thank you, are we?"

"Probably not Henry." Regina shrugged.

At this Henry sprinted into the kitchen and dropped a grape into the cage.

It was a kind thought, but Henry failed to notice that the grape had mold.

One day she'd get a grape.

One day…


	3. Coward Cobra

**LastVerse: Thanks, glad to hear it. ^_^ I'm trying to capture the essence of the queen but in a ridiculous way, it's nice to know that I was able to do so. I had so much fun writing that part; I had it planned out from the start and was so eager to actually get to writing it. Thank you again, and there will be more snake names on the way. ;)**

 **Guest 1: Thank you 3 feelings are mutual.**

 **Guest 2: Yessss, Cobragina lol. The only appropriate name for her at the moment.**

 **HeatherSS1: Everyone needs a drunk cobra queen in their lives. They also need a hungover cobra queen.**

* * *

The queen had never felt so comfortable yet so uncomfortable in all her years. Coiled into a small snake spiral beneath the warmest blanket and the fluffiest pillows was a pleasure. But the furious pounding in her head—the pounding that would not let up—was an entirely different story _. Just what the hell happened last night?_ She pondered. She could practically visualize it; a wild house party full of cobras, vipers, boas, and corn snakes. Some of them wearing tiny horse head masks. Some of them passed out on Regina's grand piano. Glitter everywhere. She had a lamp shade on her head. _No_ , she thought, _I'd definitely remember if that had happened._

But the fact of the matter was that something had happened last night. Something important. Something that she couldn't remember what so ever. Faintly she recalled trying to see how far she could stretch her snake body, and falling off of the counter. How embarrassing, at least no one had seen that one.

Finally deciding to uncoil herself, the queen slithered out of her cage. She brought herself to a quick pause. Normally either Henry or Regina would be here by now to monitor her every move.

Could it be?

Did they finally forget?

Perhaps they figured she'd be to hungover to unleash any evil. No matter the cause for their absence, the queen was ready to take full advantage. Ignoring the beating sensation in her head she carefully made her way down Regina's nightstand. That's when it dawned upon her; the cage door had been left open. She felt a jab of unease. Something clearly wasn't right. Indeed something had happened last night something important, but she couldn't for the life of her, remember what that was. But she had to find out, had to remember, before it was too late.

Flicking her tongue every so often, the snake made her way down the hall. A hallway that seemed so much larger now, so much more perilous. She cursed herself for needing such a huge and lavish house. A house that was so clearly hard for a snake to navigate. Why hadn't she considered that she'd get turned into a snake when making this house? It had only been foreshadowed numerus times in the past 6 seasons plot hole filled show! The cobra frowned, wondering where that thought had come from and what it meant. She shrugged it off as still being a bit tipsy.

At last the cobra reached the stairwell. She poked her head through the railing looking this way and that. Still no sign of the heroes.

Still no sign of her counterpart. She took the opportunity to remove that hideous paper crown once and for all.

It was unsettling really, that her counterpart had not yet come to put it back on. She leaned over the banister a little further and further still. And just like last night, she misgauged how far she could distribute her weight.

She landed with a thump at the bottom of the stairwell. Her already throbbing head was racked with a whole new world of pain. A pain that shot from her head to her tail—thank God she wasn't a worm if she was she wouldn't be able to tell if it was her head or her tail that was in pain. Not only was she in pain but she was still trapped within that sweater and the cuff around her neck was becoming a little chilly. But the worst part was she couldn't even hear Henry's music, the music that usually accompanied anything mildly tragic that happened to her.

The snake shuddered from her head to her tail.

Where were they?

Where in God's name where they?

There could be only one explanation. They were dead. Not just them but everyone; Granny, David, Archie, Emma, all of them. She was the only one left. Whatever had destroyed the town and all of its people failed to realize that she was in fact a people.

Her serpentine from saved her.

The cobra moved herself towards the sofa resting nearest to the window and climbed up it as fast as she could possibly climb without arms. Using the piece of furniture as a bridge she propped herself onto the windowsill and peered out, expecting to see firey buildings and overturned cars.

Instead she saw a bush.

The bush was neatly trimmed, well groomed, quite beautiful, and obscuring any other scenery that would have been useful in determining just what she would be facing in the outside world. She vowed to set it aflame for its insolence at first chance. How dare it obstruct her sight? That bush would be charged with treason when she regained her regal human body.

Until then the snake would spend the next few hours cowering in fear of the outside world and the zombie apocalypse that probably waited for her beyond those bushes.

After those few hours, the snake queen finally gathered her wits. She would not let a couple of zombies stop her from escaping this God forsaken mansion. Moving in quick 'S' motions, the snake came to the door. She slithered up and flicked the lock up. With all of her strength, she wrapped around the doorknob and attempted to twist it. It would not budge. She'd have to resort to escape plan B. The snake's hood drooped, she had no plan B. Truth be told she didn't even have a plan A, she didn't think she'd get this far.

Just when her hopes started to fall, the door opened.

At least the zombies were good for something. With the force and speed of a thousand lightning bolts—well it was more like the force of one hungover snake—she propelled herself at the opening.

Unfortunately she collide with something else.

That something else landed on her ass with a loud, "dammit! What the hell?"

From atop Regina's head, the snake got a good view of the neighborhood. It was a sight she hadn't expected; everything was intact. No flipped cars nor burning buildings nor mutilated bodies. Just boring old Storybrooke.

"Noodle escaped, mom."

"I can tell." Regina grumbled, peeling the snake off of her forehead. "You were just waiting for the opportunity weren't you? Stupid snake."

Naturally the cobra would have taken the chance to sink her fangs into Henry and use the distraction to make a grand escape. That course of action was her first instinct. Rather she thought it was her first instinct, turns out it was her second. For her first instinct was to wrap her shivering snake body somewhat tightly around Regina's arm. Truth be told she was relieved that she wasn't the last woman…snake left on Earth.

Regina unraveled the scaredy snake and cradled it in her arms.

"You are in a lot of trouble." The mayor scolded. "Just because the cage is open, doesn't mean you are free to roam my house unattended."

Bitterly the snake declared to herself that it was totally her house too and that she had every right to frolic merrily around it. And next time she would indeed frolic merrily instead of flouncing fearfully. By the time she finished her pondering she was back in her cage hissing resentfully at Regina. But at the same time she found herself thankful for the familiarity.

"You have had an exciting day haven't you?" Henry whispered.

"Too much excitement if I do say so." Regina mused. "Go on tell him what you thought happened." She snapped her fingers.

Delighted at the opportunity to finally here the sound of her own voice emitting from her body she spoke, "I thought I had escaped this dreadful place."

Regina drummed her fingers on the table. "Now what did you really think happened? You tell the truth and I'll let you keep talking for the rest of the day."

"I thought that you and Henry… and everyone else died."

"And how did you think we died."

"Zombies." The queen confessed softly.

A look of pure disappointment settled over all of Regina's features. Her eyes alone spilled disappointment as a fountain would water. Disappointment at her counterpart's apparently overactive imagination. And from that look the queen herself began chiding herself for thinking like every other common house dog when his or her owner leaves.

"Dumb noodle forgot that if I die she dies." Regina rolled her eyes.

Henry laughed, "we have ourselves a forgetti spaghetti."

"Alright listen here!" The queen hollered. "I will have you know that my thinking was perfectly reasonable. I was truly hoping that the other half of me wasn't actually stupid enough to leave my cage door open. I thought, since it couldn't be possible that any part of me is a nimrod, that the only explanation for such negligence was a zombie apocalypse. I therefore conclude that you are the idiotic half." She thumped her tail down to finalize the topic.

Regina glanced at her watch and then out the window. "Thank God." She snapped her fingers again.

And to the queen's dismay she could no longer vocalize her insults anymore.

"I said you could have your voice back for the rest of the day. It is night time." Regina replied smugly.

 _What a clever plan_ , the queen thought. The sense of unease returned as a new epiphany unfolded in her mind. If that plan was clever, then that meant that Regina was clever. And if Regina was clever then that meant that she was the idiotic half.

The snake blinked, her mind blown by this striking revelation.

What an awful way to end an awful day.

And worst of all. She remembered. The forgetti spaghetti remembered. She remembered the important event that had transpired the night before. She remembered very clearly that Emma had actually closed the appletini bottle. She remembered that she had managed to open that appletini bottle all by herself and then a second one. She remembered very clearly that she had somehow returned to her human form last night.

But one crucial detail was still missing, stolen away by all of those drinks. How the hell did she do it? Thumping her head against the wall of her cage in frustration, the queen scolded herself for being foolish enough to down three bottles instead of actually escaping and taking vengeance!

It was undeniable now. She was not the half of Regina that held the common sense.


	4. Party Pasta

**Sorry it took so long to update everyone; between school, work, and the holidays I haven't had much time for my fics. But I finally managed to squeeze it in.**

* * *

In all her life, the queen had never felt as much discontent as she was feeling now. Within the three unproductive days she'd spent stuck in her cage, Regina had further fell into the trademark hero role. She hadn't even uttered a single insult, not even when the cobra purposely slammed herself into her cage with force enough to land it on the other side of the room. All she did was laugh, pick the cage up, and call her silly string.

This left a sour taste in the cobra's mouth. Silly string had to be the worst nickname yet. To make an irksome situation worse Regina had replaced her paper crown with a bright pink bow, complete with a flower in the center. And her equally horrid snake sweater was replaced with a cute frilly dress. It didn't even match her golden cuff.

The queen couldn't be any less pleased. Currently she found herself curled up in a baby basket, feeling levels of humiliation that not a single soul should ever be exposed to.

As Regina carried her down the sidewalk she pondered just how she could have become human. So far she'd considered that she was a weresnake and that it was a full moon the night she'd turned back. She ruled that one out right away, there were so many flaws in that theory. She also considered that someone had slipped into the mansion to give her a mocking hint of freedom. But she couldn't come up with anyone who actually had time for such petty bullshit. At one point her train of thought had become so far-fetched that she wondered if she was ever human at all. What if she was a snake this whole time? That she had been born a snake and was turned human by some spell that had recently worn off.

The cobra could just image her other half calling her a pathetic pasta. And so she let that theory go.

Instead she had come to concluded that she was so drunk she thought she had become human but really did not. It was the most logical theory she had. And the most disappointing.

"Alright my precious pasta, today you are going to dance for small children. You see, Paige is having a birthday party and their inflatable popped. So you will be providing the entertainment."

The Queen was ready to hiss in protest but thought better of it. After all, a crowded birthday party would offer her the perfect chance to escape.

.oOo.

"Regina, why would you bring a venomous Cobra to a child's birthday party!?" Emma questioned.

"It'll be fine, trust me. All she does is fall off of tables, eat grapes, and occasionally try to escape." Regina replied. "She's only hurting herself, and me." The mayor still found herself fearing for the condition of her liver.

"Okay, let's just say that she will behave. Do you really think Paige wants a snake at her birthday party? I don't know many little girls who like cobras."

 _And I don't know many women who have kinks for men with hook hands_ , the snake thought bitterly. She hoped that Regina would vocalize offer up one of her wonderful sarcastic remarks. But instead the woman just pouted at Emma, "she needs love too."

The Queen hissed, she needed to be free, that's what she needed. Snakes have no time for love, only world domination and power. She thought briefly of the grapes…maybe those too. She shook her head, deciding that now was not the time to be acting on her snake instincts. As her counterpart continued trying to persuade Emma that taking her to Paige's party was a good idea, the snake poked her head out from under the baby blanket. Looking to the left and the right, she emerged more fully.

She flicked her tongue out, tasting the sweet flavor of freedom. But alas, it was only a taste for she felt two swift taps on the head. "Down, bad snake." Regina demanded sharply. Dizzy from the sudden taps, she fell back onto the baby blanket—mouth half open tongue out. Perhaps guilt-tripping would work. But Regina ignored the snake's attention ploys.

"Hey, I think you may have hurt her." Emma pointed out.

Regina offered a dismissive hand gesture, "she does that all the time." Emma didn't look convinced. "Trust me, she just wants attention. Which is why this birthday party is a great idea; she'll get all the attention she could ever hope for."

A shiver ran down the snake's body. That plan had surely backfired.

"If you say so." Emma muttered. "But if something goes wrong, you can call a different sheriff. Because this one," she motioned to herself, "told you not to take the snake to the cake."

"Nothing is going to happen. I promise." Regina smiled. "I have a good feeling about this."

" _You_ have a good feeling?" Emma shot her a puzzled look. "Where was this optimism before?"

"I'm not sure, but I'm glad it's here now." Regina gave Emma the brightest smile she could. And the sheriff couldn't help but return it. It was, after all, great to see her friend in such high spirits.

The snake queen could stand it no more, that was three sentences now that weren't about her. She felt vaguely uncomfortable when things were not about her. With an envious and self-destructive slam of her tail, she overturned her baby basket. In turn trapping herself beneath. Hissing violently, she shimmied her way out from under, at least far enough to be able to breathe.

"Your snake should really see Archie about her anger issues."

Regina looked at her watch. It would be another hour before Paige's party started.

.oOo.

"So, Regina tells me you are very angry." Archie sat across from her with a pen and notebook in hand. "I also hear that you have a bit of a drinking problem?"

The snake, coiled up on a chair, stared blankly at the doctor. Where had he heard that, she wondered briefly. The extent of her amusement was ever growing, Archie had only asked her if she was an angry snake about four times now. It was as if he thought she actually had the vocal chords to answer. At least she got to sit on a chair, it made her feel less snakely and more queenly.

"Okay, okay." Archie clapped his hands together. "How about this, rattle once for yes and twice for no."

The queen looked from her tail to Archie. "I am a cobra you oaf, not a rattle snake." Of course he couldn't understand her. She stared over at the phone, perhaps she could call Lord Voldemort. He was probably around Storybrooke somewhere, after all Frankenstein was here and he had no place amid fairytail folk.

That was it! That was her new plan, escape and find Voldemort, tell him that she's really a human, and get him to turn her back. The queen rocked smugly from side to side, there had to be a magic bean somewhere in that town.

"You are giving me very mixed signals your majesty." Archie noted. "One minute you're angry and the next you're the happiest snake I've ever seen."

Willing to hear no more, the queen flung herself off of the chair. Playing upon Archie's shock, the snake recovered and slid herself through the door that the cricket was dumb enough to leave slightly ajar. In quick s's she slithered down the hall.

"I didn't realize you were so eager to get to the party." Regina stooped down and scooped her up. Not missing a single beat, the mayor placed a tiny party hat atop the snake's head. "This is also for you." She put a handmade party blower in the snake's mouth. She promptly spit it out. "I decorated your cage for the party."

Upon seeing her poor cage, the snake felt a part of her shrivel up and die. Everything was so retina-burningly glittery. Not only that, but she was about to be placed in what looked like five inches of confetti.

Regina pet the snake's hood and placed her into that glittery hell. The queen wondered if she could manually spark the skin shedding process. She'd practically need to shed skin to get all of that glitter off. Knowing that she was in for a mildly long ride, she found the tidiest, most glitter-free spot in her cage, and coiled up.

"Now I have to pick up a present for Paige, don't you dare try to leave this car." Regina looked at the door and then at the locked cage door. "Not that you'll get very far." Without another word, Regina slammed the car door shut.

The queen cringed, suddenly remembering every story she'd ever heard about babies and dogs being trapped in hot cars. She always thought they were weak. But now, on the brink of her own death, her opinions were changing.

Oh how cruel the world was, leaving her to die in a steaming hot car.

She looked desperately around the Mercedes for something that could provide her with a blast of cold air. She sighed in defeat, even if she did find a source of cool air, she wouldn't be able to get to it. The snake moped bitterly to herself, so this is how I die.

She looked up at the car's clock. Exactly how long did it take for heat stroke to set in? Her counterpart better hurry the hell up, did she not realize how dire the situation was. But, better than anyone, the queen knew Regina.

Knew her well enough to know that she had always been a slow shopper. She remembered very clearly, all of those times Henry had thrown temper tantrums in the store because she was taking to long.

The queen closed her eyes. She'd come so far.

She was so close to being free.

And now she was going to die.

From over yonder, way in the back seat of the Mercedes, the queen heard Henry's cellphone ringing. She vaguely recalled him laughing with Violet, informing her that he was going to change his ringtone to, '2 Sad 4 Me Airhorn Remix'. The snake had no clue what that meant, but hearing it out loud for the first time, it was worse that she had imagined.

She always hated airhorns, ever since that one tragic April Fool's Day when Gold snuck into her bedroom while she was sleeping and bombarded her earholes with the sound of airhorns to the beat of Funky Town.

The snake could only imagine what the headlines would read; 'Party-Ready Snake, Weaker Than Babies Dies in a Hot Car Surrounded by Glitter and Airhorns.' What a sorry way to die.

Her woe was interrupted by the sound of a car door swinging open. Her hood perked up. Regina was back! Back and ready to end her suffering and save her from the intense, scale-melting heat. She uncoiled herself and dashed to greet the mayor.

But it was not her mayor, that had opened the door. The figure waved a hand and she found herself adorned with a smol snake muzzle for her smol snake mouth. Whoever this offending evil-doer was, he or she was one crafty bastard. The cobra felt a pair of gloved hands wrap around her slender snake body. As those hands lifted her out of the car, two dreadful realizations dawned upon her.

She was being snakenapped. But even worse than that, she knew that she had done it again; over thought a situation and blew it to ridiculous proportions. She wasn't in any danger at all for it was the middle of winter and snakes flourish in the heat.

For her own stupidity, the bitter little cobra decided that she deserved to get snakenapped.

Her captor gave a wicked laugh. "Now Regina will know what happens when she crosses me." It was a woman, the Queen assessed. The woman, lifted the snake cage level with her eyes. "Aren't you a pretty little thing."

Yes, I am. The queen agreed smugly. Yes, I am. The last thing she thought before passing out was; "who the hell uses chloroformed on a perfectly defenseless snake? What. An. Asshole."


	5. Sorrow String

**Lastverse: Thanks, gotta start the year off with some humor. :P**

 **HeatherSS1: Indeed she did, it was bound to happen one day lol.**

 **Thingsyoumayneversay: Thank you, I appreciate it.**

 **OfTheOcean: Lol, I couldn't resist. That one was just begging to be put in there.**

* * *

The queen's scowled. If that woman took one more speed bump going at 45mph, she was gonna flip her shit. Each and every time her captor did so, the snake herself was sent flying to new areas of the car that she never knew existed. She was now under the impression that Cruella was her captor. But that's impossible, thought the snake bitterly, Cruella is long dead. Unless, of course, she had been right about the zombies all that time ago.

Much to the queen's dismay, her abductor turned on the radio…a country station. If she could have shriveled up and died right then and there, she would have. Her kidnapper was a redneck.  
She was probably being driven to some backwater town in the middle of nowhere where they cocked snakes up for sport.

They hadn't even crossed the town line when the car came to a stop. It was worse than she thought! She knew this place. She had to escape before it was too late. The car door swung open. Sucking in a deep breath the queen flung herself forcefully at the wall of her cage; at last her practice would pay off. Her captor was left completely in awe at the distance she had managed to propel herself. She rocked the cage from side to side, moving it forward little by little.

"Where do you think you're going!?"

The Queen flicked her tongue out at the woman–at least her muzzle left her enough room to do that–and continued trying to make her break for it.

The woman sneered and snatched the snake cage. The queen applauded herself for making it so far, all one and a half inches. The snake cast another resentful stare in the woman's direction.

"I do hate snakes." The woman mumbled. And the queen recognized that voice. She should have known that, that ridiculously pointy hat was a sign.

The cobra sulked to herself; now she was going to be forced to endure the country lifestyle and listen to that woman sing awful covers of, 'I'm Blue' that involved sticking 'green' in the place of blue.

"Both you and Regina are going to pay." Zelena growled. "And I know just how to do it." She smirked.

The snake tensed up. What if Zelena had been talking to Cruella? Was she going to make her into a pair of snakeskin boots or a snakeskin mini-skirt. Though she would make for the most fashionable and opulent attire, the queen had no desire to become apparel. She had to escape before it was too late. Groaning to herself she recalled that every time she vowed to escape she ended up failing miserably and in the most humiliating way.

"I'll start you off with a little taster." Zelena smirked. She yanked the regal snake out of her cage and plopped her into a crib.

Again, the snake found herself cringing, she had no desire to spend her time with a baby. What kind of mother would let her baby boy play with a cobra anyhow!? No sooner had she hit the mattress of the crib was she being picked up by chubby little baby hands. Her eye twitched upon realizing just what was happening. Little baby Robin had found a new toy. Unfortunately for the cobra she was now becoming a teething string. Despite her frantic wriggling and thrashing, the baby would not unhand her. All she had managed to do was spread the baby slobber even further down her scaled body. Surly babies would be added onto her wanted list. Just like those conniving, sight-blocking bushes.

The Queen stared her smug sister down. Every time Robin put the snake into her mouth, the witch would cackle gleefully. "Trust me sister, this only phase one in my plan to mildly inconvenience your life."

.oOo.

"I'm a failure."

Emma could barely hear the mayor, for her head was buried so deeply in her arms.

"You're not a failure." Emma insisted. "I promise you, Paige was delighted when she found out that you wouldn't be bring that scaled string to her party. She was almost ready to schedule a second party to celebrate. Honestly, I'd say you're the hero of the party for losing your brainless boa."

"It's a cobra!" Regina wailed harder. "A cobra! Why can't you people get your snake names right?"

"Okay, okay, it's a cobra. I'll remember next time." Emma lifted her hands in an exaggerated surrender. "Since when are you so emotional?"

Regina glanced up sadly, tears gleaming in her soft brown eyes. The blonde could swear that she was staring at a child wearing a power suit. "I just want you all to learn to love my snake, all she ever wanted was companionship and hugs, and to marry a stable boy on the mountain that overlooks a beach as the sun is setting… she wanted there to be little rose petals on the ground, but not the red ones, she wanted those cream-colored ones. And this long flowing dress with diamonds…" She paused. "I just have so many dreams Emma."

Emma rubbed Regina's back, "there, there Gina." She took a seat next to the woman. "It's going to be okay, I'm going to find your nimrod noodle. I'll put out a town-wide amber alert or something."

"You can do that?" Regina asked softly.

"Of course I am, I'm the sheriff. Remember?"

"Actually." Regina's tears came to a sudden stop. "I don't remember making you the sheriff. In fact, I remember telling you that, that was not your job Swan."

"Alright, these sudden small bursts of evil have got to stop." Emma declared. "I swear, ever since you and the Queen parted ways, you've been acting really weird."

Regina sniffled. "I miss my snek." She wiped at her eyes. "I j-just really miss my snek." Each word that fell from her lips came out breathy and trembled. "I just don't understand why she'd leave me. I-I was so good to her. I made her snake sweaters and I kept her from getting alcohol poisoning. Why does everyone leave me?" The mayor let her head fall back on to the desk and into her arms.

Emma sighed. "I'm still here aren't I? And Henry will be back from his sleepover at Paige's this afternoon."

"But what about my snake? Why did she leave me, why doesn't she love me? Why don't I love myself?" Regina looked up again, " _why don't I love myself?_ " She repeated, clearly fascinated by her own deep thinking.

"Oh boy." Emma muttered.

.oOo.

The serpentine queen could feel every fiber of her soul shriveling up and dying. Phase two was worse than phase one. On one hand, the queen was no longer in the hands of a baby. On the other hand—oh wait, there was no other hand, it was a god forsaken hook! The very bitter snake found herself in the company of a horny pirate that was wearing the same outfit she could have sworn she saw him wearing the last time that they had met.

"Eh, crocodile, my snake is bigger than yours." Hook boasted.

Mr. Gold wasted no effort in turning around, "oh I _highly_ doubt that." The snake could clearly envision that snide curl of his lips. The same one he gave her before putting that cuff around her neck. Frankly she didn't know who to root for in this argument; the self-absorbed pirate, or the beast responsible for her woes.

She decided that she would root for the pirate, for in the last ten minutes she had decided that she wouldn't be a snake if he had just kept his in his pants.

"Are you sure about that crocodile, I have a huge snake." Hook winked. "It's tough and vicious and can withstand anything."

"Then why don't you go show it to someone who'd apricate it?" Gold suggested. "How about Emma."

"Oh, she's already seen it. Multiple times. She even played with it." Hook smirked. "So did Regina, she even put a hat on it."

Beside himself, Gold made a soft gagging noise.

"Oh! Oh, god no. That's not what I meant at all. I literally meant that I have a snake! Here look, do you want to see it?" Hook tried desperately to hold the queen out to the imp, dangling her right next to Gold's ear.

"There are many other things I'd rather see than your snake."

"But I really want you to see my snake."

At this point the queen could no longer distinguish which snake was being talked about and she could stand it no more. She looked pleadingly at Zelena. Based on that devilish grin, she came to conclude that she'd have to endure at least another twenty minutes of this immature man-talk. _Why is it that men always do this? You don't see me just whipping out the twins._ She thought bitterly to herself, knowing very well that she had come close multiple times since separating from Regina. And for the first time in a while the snake wept to herself, this really was exactly what she deserved!

"Oh just you wait until phase three." Zelena vowed, as if reading the snake's thoughts.

.oOo.

Emma helped the mayor climb into bed, she wrapped a blanket around the woman and curled her fingers around a steaming mug. Regina took a small sip and gazed sadly into the hot coco. "Where's the cinnamon?"

"I thought you didn't like cinnamon in your hot chocolate."

"How do you know, Emma. You don't know me, you don't know my life!" She hollered.

"Hello darkness my old friend." Emma whispered under her breath.

"I'm sorry that was uncalled for." Regina mumbled. "I just really miss my snake. Usually at around this time I am reading her stories like, _Goodnight Moon_." The mayor wiped her eyes again. "Her favorite is, _Give a Mouse a Cookie_. Only instead of mouse, I usually say snake. And instead of cookie, I say sangria. So instead of _Give a Mouse a Cookie_ , I am reading _Give a Snake a Sangria_."

"That's…uh…very creative, Gina." Emma mustered up a smile.

"But now I'll never get to read to her again."

"Sure you can." Emma smiled. "Just pick up a book and start reading."

"It's not the same!" Regina sobbed.

"Okay, how about this? How about—until you find your snake—you read to me. I'd love to hear, _Give a Snake a Sangria._ "

Regina sniffled once more. "Alright, but after that, we look for my snake."


	6. Revenge Rope

**Last chapter guys! Thank you all so much for reading and leaving all of your reviews.**

 **Jane: You're welcome, good to hear that it makes you happy.**

 **VivianLola: That sentence pretty much sums up my entire time as a fic writer lol.**

 **Guest: May you live forever.**

* * *

Regina rolled over onto her side, humming softly in her sleep. Tossed to the floor, lay a copy of ' _Give a Mouse a Cookie._ ' Emma crossed the room to pick up the sleep-discarded literature. She set it on Regina's nightstand. _At least she's sleeping well_ , Emma mused to herself, _and isn't crying_. The mayor shifted positions, nuzzling her head against the pillow, before blinking awake. "Good morning, Emma." She mumbled with a sleepy slur.

"Morning, Gina." Emma greeted.

Regina sat herself up right and peered at Emma with those soft brown eyes. "Thank you for keeping me company last night." She offered Emma a smile. The kind of sweet and genuine smile that only Regina could give.

"It was no big deal. I know how much that stupid snake means to you."

"She's not stupid, she's just common-sense deprived." Regina defended as she stood and repositioned her night robe so that it was no longer sliding off of her shoulder. "Want something to eat, dear?"

"Yeah, that'd be great." Emma replied. She could get used to this new and friendly Regina. A friendly Regina that never yelled at her for doing reckless things. A Regina who never seemed to have anything snarky or sassy to say.

Okay, so she'd kind of miss the witty one liners (so long as they weren't at her own expense), but the amount of cuddles and snuggles really made up for it.

"What would you like for breakfast?"

"Waffles would be awesome." Emma answered.

.oOo.

Can snakes sweat? The Queen had always wondered…well not really, but she had put some thought into that recently. Apparently, the answer was yes, for the snake found herself sweating nervously. Zelena had only excitedly yelled, "phase three", about twelve times that morning. The freakiest part was that, that was all she had yelled. Just "phase three", nothing about phase three or the nature of it or how exited she was for it. Just the words, "phase three." The cobra had come to conclude that this woman was indeed, completely mad. And she wondered how they had come from the same mother. Much to her dismay, she vaguely recalled shouting something like, "dark curse", a few times way back when before enacting it. No wonder Rumpelstilskin thought she had completely lost it.

Zelena squatted down, hovering before the queen's pet-sized prison. "I have a little secret for you." The witch looked at her like she was supposed to be intrigued or something. "Did you know that I got bored and bitter one night so I decided to stop by your house and turn you human?"

Now there was an attention getter. The snake unraveled herself in record speed. "That's right." Zelena continued. "I waited until you were wasted and I turned you human just so you could cry about the missed opportunities later."

The snake narrowed her eyes. _This bitch_ , she hissed to herself.

"Oh don't worry, sis. I'm going to turn you human again."

Something about the way her sister had said it made the snake cringe. Suddenly the idea of living life out peacefully is a simple and humble reptile became appealing. She wouldn't mind staying in her nice safe snake cage with a fuzzy sweater and a queenly amount of grapes.

"And I will do it today."

The queen slithered to the furthest corner of her snake cage, in hopes of making the woman feel ignored.

"That's right, run away from me." Zelena muttered. "Run away."

The queen would have loved to. But alas she had no legs. She would never make the Storybrooke track team now.

.oOo.

"Any sign of the noodle?" Henry asked. "I need to rek _someone_ while playing Smash Bros."

"Not yet." Emma frowned. "We've checked every pet store and brewery in town. And Regina already put up the lost snake signs."

"I can't believe no one has seen her." Regina declared. "It's not like her to not do something to get herself noticed. By now I was expecting at least five people to be in the hospital for snake bites. Something bad must have happened to her."

"Now you're just worrying yourself." Emma stated. "She's been trying to escape for a while now. Now that she's done it she's probably trying to keep a low profile."

Regina bit her lip, "I hope so." She looked at the door, "I think I'm going to go look for her again."

"Mom, you just got home." Henry protested.

"I'm worried about my royal reptile." Regina sighed. "I'll be back in a few minutes." She waited for Emma and Henry to nod before stepping back outside. A light rain began to curtain down. Her poor noodle, all alone and wet. Probably shivering. She hated to think about her noodle becoming a soggy noodle. She peered into the bushes nearest to her mansion's windows. _Snakes like bushes, right?_ The mayor asked herself. She received her answer in the form of bare branches.

She hastily made her way down the driveway, heels clicking against the concrete as she strode along. She made it successfully around the street corner. "Where is she?" Regina asked aloud, pausing briefly to remember that she was technically referring to herself. "Where am I? Where did I go?"

"You are about a block away from you house dearie." Mr. Gold remarked snidely "Who put a curse on your memory."

From the deep recesses of her mind came a small trace of darkness, darkness she had thought she was fresh out of. She wondered for a moment if she should waste this last speckle of evil within her. Of course she should! "Yo mama." She smiled smugly to herself, it was the perfect jab considering the circumstances.

Mr. Gold's eyes narrowed. "I hope you don't find your snake and that it will be lost forever."

Under normal circumstances she would have called him an ass. But seeing as she was fresh out of inner evil and witty things to say, she simply asked, "why would you say something like that?" She paused, tears welling in her eyes. "Why?" Her voice cracked some. "After how long we've known each other, how could you say that? I thought we were sort of friends."

Mr. Gold cringed. "You know what, dearie? On second thought, I hope you find that snake quickly, you are radiating secondhand embarrassment right now."

"I'm sorry." Regina apologized, only amping the secondhand embarrassment to higher levels. "I'm also sorry for making your mama jokes."

"Please. Stop apologizing." Mr. Gold dismissed. "And get back to looking for that snake."

"Worry not, sexy." Purred a voice from within the shadows. "She won't have to look any further." The figure emerged from the shadow brandishing a still glitter-infested cage. Inside it rest a brooding, agitated cobra. At the sight of her other half, the snake perked up.

"Hey! I didn't say that you could borrow my snake." Regina frowned.

"And I didn't say that you could borrow my hair ribbon when we were children." Zelena retorted.

"We were sharing, playing dress up." Regina rebutted.

"Well we're sharing right now." Zelena shrugged. "And besides I was going to give her back, that's why I'm here."

"I'm going to tell mother on you." Regina declared proudly.

"Mother is dead."

Regina pulled a oujia board out of her purse.

"That only works on spirits that haven't crossed over." She would have left it at that but a more pressing question came to mind. "Wait a minute, why do you have that?"

"Because everyone I love always dies!"

"You should let David borrow some of that edge next time he goes on one of his heroic endeavors." Zelena suggested.

"You should donate some of that green to Hook so he can buy a new wardrobe and some deodorant." There was just something about little siblings that brought out the worst in people, even those who had become sickeningly sweet.

"Oh for the love of all things evil, my Mills tolerance level is not high enough for this!" Mr. Gold threw his arms dramatically into the air. With one final bitter look in the Mills sisters' direction, the man stormed off.

"Give me my snake." Regina demanded.

 _Free me._ The snake thought at the same time.

Zelena smirked, "with pleasure." She snatched the snake out of its cage and in one swift and quick motion encompassed its body in a cloud of green magic. When the smoke cleared, Zelena's hands were completely empty.

"What did you do with my snake?" Regina growled, rage bubbling up from within her.

"Guess." Zelena smiled.

"I don't have time for your games." Regina hissed.

"I put her back where she belongs." Zelena answered, that smug grin unwavering. "Back inside of you, can't you tell."

The mayor blinked, realizing that she could in fact feel the full extent of her anger once again. Anger that doubled when she realized that she had in fact made literal hissing noises at Zelena. "Part snake. I am part snake." Regina mumbled to herself. "I don't want to be part snake. I don't want this vivid memory of wearing a stupid sweater I knitted for myself."

"We you will have it." Zelena stated plainly. "Isn't it great to be back together as one."

"Not like this." Regina frowned. "Split me again, turn her human, and then put her back."

"Nope."

"You will." Regina scowled.

"Will not."

"Will too."

"Will not."

Regina's frown deepened, they were going to be there for a while.

.oOo.

Henry looked at the clock. "Where is she, mom?"

"I don't know kid." Emma confessed.

"It's already dark out. It's dinner time. I already lost one Regina." He sulked.

"I'm sure she'll be back any moment now." Emma offered him a reassuring smile. "If not I'll go out and find her."

As if on cue, the door found itself kicked in. And through it stepped a fuming mayor. Wearing the grumpiest expression Emma had ever seen in her life, Regina dropped herself into the nearest chair. Her form hunched over in anger, an irritated pout on her lips.

"Whoa, what's going on? Where's that cookie-baking smile?"

"I found my snake."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Henry asked. He truly hated seeing his mother look so distressed and angered.

"She was with my sister."

"And?" Emma prompted her to continue.

"And she just magiced us back together without even restoring her to her majestic, and absolutely gorgeous self. And now I have to go ask Gold to take this off." She lifted her wrist to reveal a little golden cuff. "But he's not going to do that because I hurt his feelings with a yo mama joke and overloaded him with secondhand embarrassment."

"I can only imagine what the first-hand embarrassment was like." Emma couldn't refrain…she gave a small snicker.

"It was dreadful." Regina felt her cheeks color just thinking of it.

"Hey, I'm sure Gold will show mercy if you give him this." Emma held up a small stuffed octopus.

"What's that?" Regina asked.

"It's Mr. Gold's." Henry replied. "It's his comfort animal, sleeps with him every night."

"How do you know."

Henry drummed his fingers nervously on the table. "Well…at Paige's party we may or may not have been making prank calls and TPing houses. I may or may not have saw him talking to it and tucking it into bed. Did you know that Leroy built this giant Lego fort and won't let the other dwarves in without a secret password?"

"I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that." Regina muttered.

"Seriously though, just trade him his octopus for your freedom. If that doesn't work…"

"I'll tell him that everyone will know about his octopus if the cuff doesn't come off." Regina finished.

"The queen is definitely back." Emma noted.

"Yes, but cuff or no cuff, I am fifty percent reptile." Regina sighed.

"I can't tell." Henry pointed out.

"Neither can I." Emma added.

"I accidently _hissed_ at Zelena." Regina admitted.

"Trust me Regina, everything will be fine." Emma replied. "Things have been working out for you a lot lately. Instead of getting upset that you're part snake how about we celebrate that you won't have to worry about an evil queen hitting on everything that breathes?"

"Alright fine. Optimism." Regina replied. "Be optimistic."

"I have some left-over cake." Henry pointed out.

"I don't eat cake."

"Sure you do, Gina. Everyone eats cake." Emma slid a slice over to the mayor. She stared at it for a moment before giving in and picking at it with her fork. "Do we have any cider left?"

Emma peeked into the fridge. "We sure do." She looked at Henry. "Want any, kid?"

Henry nodded, "always down for some cider."

"Anything else I can get either of you?" Emma asked.

"Yeah." Regina replied, "do we have any grapes left?"


End file.
